With the Cold War coming back, I figured this would be a good time to freshen up on some basic nuclear tips. Just helpful hints, like how to duck and cover, how to eat canned crackers, and, of course, how to build a goddamn hydrogen bomb yourself. Here’s that last one, in video form.
Editor’s Note: This post originally ran in August of 2014, under the headline of “Here’s How You Make An Enormous Nuke, Just In Case You Were Wondering.” On the morning of January 6th, 2015, or sometime in the evening before, North Korea detonated what it said was a hydrogen bomb, which exploits nuclear fusion instead of nuclear fission, generally resulting in a larger explosion. We’re re-running it again now, just in case you were wondering more about what the difference is.
But for all the worriers out there, fearing that I’ve just posted a super-top-secret Youtube video, wondering if you’ll be able to make hydrogen bomb with an explosive force of more than a megaton of TNT right in your backyard after a handy step-by-step guide, fear not.
Not only does this video not actually provide a handy step-by-step guide, it’s mostly just providing information that’s already out there in the public sphere.
But even if it did get you one step closer to replicating a device like the premier Ivy Mike shot, you’d still need a whole lot more.
Forget about just obtaining the plutonium necessary for it, Doc Brown. You’d also need a whole bunch of heavy and specialized equipment beyond the scope of your local Home Depot, some more detailed schematics than just the rudimentary diagrams we see here, and also, you’d need some sort of way to figure out how to make FOGBANK.
What is FOGBANK, and why have I bolded it? Hell if I know, or if anyone knows, really. It’s rumored to be an unobtainum-ish aerogel material so ridiculously mysterious that even the US government, the people that invented it, forgot how to do it.
Good luck with that.
But hey, at least now you have an inkling of how to put one together. Try not to blow yourself up. Or, you know, your nearest city.